It is a letter from Mr Collins to Lady Catherine de Bourgh after Lizzie has refused him but luckily he found Charlotte!
***
My most esteemed patron,
I am writing you this letter with grievous but also happy
tidings. As you well know, my latest
visit to Longbourne, following your gracious condescension, was with the object
of selecting a wife.
In the pursuit of such a one, I first directed my attentions to the eldest
Miss. Bennet but I quickly turned towards the next Bennet daughter, a Miss
Elizabeth Bennet, as Mrs. Bennet discreetly informed me that the eldest Miss.
Bennet was soon to be engaged.
Having altered the directions of my particular attentions,
it was soon easy to comprehend the nature of my affections and the consequences
of the former. I was very careful in
complimenting my cousin Elizabeth to the best of my abilities, which I flatter
myself at being very skilled in the matter of offering delicate compliments which
are always acceptable to the ladies.
After many days, during which my object could not have been difficult to
recognise, I believed that she was the right lady to be my wife. I believed her to be gentle for my sake and
not above her company for your sake. In
order that I could return to Hunsford with the oncoming prospect of a marriage,
I asked Miss. Elizabeth to be my wife.
I have the unfortunate news to impart on your ladyship that Miss.
Elizabeth, even though the circumstances facing the Bennets upon their father’s
death are extremely unfortunate and the highly advantageous connections that
would be made from such a match would not consent to be my wife.
As unfortunate as this event was, I am now exceedingly
pleased that such a connection will not take place as after this event, it came
to light that my first judgement as to the character of Miss. Elizabeth were incorrect. She was not such a gentle woman as I had
first thought and she was rather more foolish and head-strong. This incident is of no consequence however,
as I am delighted to inform your ladyship that upon my return I will have an
upcoming marriage.
After the aforementioned occurrence, I happened across a
woman who was suited to be my wife even more than my cousin. She is a Miss. Charlotte Lucas as she is a
very good sort of woman with a very respectable family. I believe she will be very pleasing to you as
she is a woman who will be useful to myself as a wife and she does not think
herself to high for your benefit. Miss.
Lucas was very keen to agree to be my wife and I am sure that when she I
brought to you to you for your approval, she will not fail to be
acceptable.
I will soon be returning to Hunsford and I hope that this
connection will be pleasing to you as much as it is to me. It seems as if Charlotte and I were made for
each other and I am at the present time, the happiest of men.
Your humble servant,
William Collins.
***
Your affectionate friend,
Third time reading this letter and I'm still laughing out loud!
ReplyDeleteYour affectionate sister,
Jane
Thanks dearest ;) :D
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